Learn What Women Secretly Say Behind Their Husbands' Backs About What They Want and Need, What Turns Them On and Off, and How to Make Her Feel Like You Can Read Her Mind!
...unless, of course you’re ready to go back to getting flamed over a lame pickup line in a bar or sitting at home reading the dating personals. Or maybe just living with a cheating wife or girlfriend is more your style. No?
Whether you’re having trouble in your marriage or relationship now or wanting to stop it before it starts (and it can start with one wrong look or word!), you’d better read this:
Dear Bored, Frustrated, Confused, Or Celibate Friend,
Relationships, whether you’re married or not, go stale – the excitement fades, the sex slows down and nearly stops, schedules get filled with jobs, kids, hobbies, and chores, and before you know it, you’re both crawling in the bed at night and falling asleep, whether that’s why you went to bed or not. It may feel like the end of your life and damage your self-image, but at worst, it’s just the end of the honeymoon, and you’ve got yourself a lonely housewife or girlfriend who just might already be listed in the online personals or some lonely wife club.
What’s a Guy to Do? What Have You Tried?
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Solid relationship advice that you can immediately put to work for you is hard to find. Some go out to the library, bookstore or search engines looking for everything they can find on “marriage help” or “marriage advice,” “seduce my wife,” “love advice,” “relationship help,” or "relationship advice," or my favorite, “what women want,” and get a very vague and inaccurate picture from people who’d be better suited to writing psychology textbooks or religious sermons.
Sound familiar?
Others go to the other extreme, flooding Google and other search engines
with queries for sources on extra-marital affairs or dating sites, such
as “speed dating,” “dating advice,” “how to get a girlfriend,” “one
night stand,” and even “macking” (the art of the one night stand), and
don’t accomplish anything except setting themselves up for a divorce or
other bad break up and having it hit the “Girly Grapevine” that they are
a cheating scumbag.
Is this you?
There are a few who realize that creating and maintaining a happy and
fulfilling relationship needs a more direct approach, especially those
into self-help and self-improvement systems, and they go to millions of
sites Google serves up with such search terms as “attract woman,”
“seduction tip” and “sexual attraction,” but these pages and products,
developed by some of the world’s more brilliant minds, like John Alanis
(“The King of Let ‘em Come to You”), David DeAngelo (“Double Your
Dating”), Shelly McMurtry (“First in Her Mind”), Tiffany Taylor (“Guy
Gets Girl”), and Mari-Jo Tyler (“Laugh Into Love,” a relationship
expert, sex therapist, and comedienne!), and which get huge results for
people trying to become successful in the dating world, are developed
mainly for someone IN the dating world.
But Wait!
Going back into the dating world and meeting strangers is what you’re trying to avoid, isn't it?! Trying to employ such attraction tactics, such as being unpredictable, which is irresistible to a woman you’ve just met, to a mature relationship will scare the living hell out of a woman with whom you are sharing a mortgage and a few kids, married or not!
She wants predictability, but is attracted to unpredictability.
There are a great many “toy boys” around who can give her that little thrill while you continue to provide stability, so the whole issue is a double-edged sword and a huge trap for both of you, as are many other things that trip a woman’s attraction triggers.
How do you sort it out?
What do women want, especially in a long-term relationship? What
feelings can you enjoy giving her that she will enjoy?
To make matters worse, you may have already been doing some research,
and come across some of the dating gurus mentioned above. The advice
they give is rock solid for the dating world -- it just doesn't get any
better -- but they repeatedly say to their readers, "Once attraction is
lost, forget it and move on, because it's gone, it's near impossible, if
not entirely impossible, to bring it back."
Maybe for their readers, but take a closer look...
In the short window you have to create attraction in a new person and try to make it bloom into a lasting relationship, this is true. But, the rules and timeframes are different for committed relationships. Have you already given up? You shouldn't, because the fact that you're in a committed relationship works in your favor, and can actually motivate your bored girlfriend or wife to help you set things right under the right conditions.
How? Keep reading...
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Hi! I’m David Cunningham, a semi-retired and measurably successful international management consultant and troubleshooter, and one of those people that everybody calls no matter what their problem is, because if I don’t have an answer, I find one for them that works. At the request of people in trouble, I’ve become an expert in most areas of business, alternative healthcare and health maintenance, gourmet dieting and cooking, just to name a few things. It’s been going on so long that many of the people who know me call me “Doc,” in spite of the fact that I’m neither a physician nor holder of a doctorate degree, because I can usually find "a cure for whatever ails them." |
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This problem of a “stale” relationship, one in which both parties, whether married or not, still love each other and are committed to staying together, or at least want to be, but their relationship is in a rut – their sex lives are near non-existent, their lives are routine and boring -- has happened over time and has become a “comfortable” habit. Judging by the results of studies conducted by people qualified and equipped to conduct them, the average married couple has sex only six times a year, in spite of studies conducted on these same people indicating that they think about sex hourly and often every few minutes.
How can this be a recipe for a happy marriage?
I’m going to make a bet that if you’re still reading this, either you’re in the same boat, or you’re the proactive sort that tries to stop problems before they start and don’t want to be part of that statistic. I’ve been happily married for the last ten-plus years at the time of this writing, and I can tell you from experience, my own and that of hundreds of other couples, that the good news is that reigniting her attraction for you is all that this situation requires for short-term success, and keeping that success this time around is a simple matter of completing two tasks and starting up two on-going processes, one of which will be on “auto-pilot” and one you will actively manage:
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Task 1: Make sure you are a good match for each other. Some people just aren't good for each other; indeed, some couples are downright mutually destructive, and think they're happy, when they are actually comfortably unhappy. A bad match-up can’t work well because there’s always the stress of trying to bend and stretch to meet somebody in the middle, and it’s such a stretch that neither of you will ever be able to enjoy the relationship. Task 2 (and the process on “auto-pilot”): Learning a bit about how men and women communicate differently and how to "meet in the middle." You may have always known that women go about it differently than we do, and that it makes us nuts, but getting a handle on it is really not as complicated as a great many of the people with lots of “alphabet soup” dangling after their names on their business cards would have you believe. Just being aware of the basic differences is often enough to start bridging the gap, because understanding often brings about cooperation and improvement, which in turn starts a continuous improvement process that you’ll find that you enjoy so much that it will quickly become automatic, because while it’s a little bit of work, it’s a whole lot of fun! The actively managed process: Keeping that attraction alive once reignited, which isn’t at all difficult once you understand what she responds to, because it’s not just easy to do, it’s fun for both of you! Especially when you trip those triggers regularly, because not only will your sex life return to what you used to call “normal” (and exciting!), but you’ll once again find each other fun and exciting in more and more ways. She’ll respond to having her triggers tripped by automatically tripping your triggers as well, and as your communications skills improve you’ll discover more ways to trip each others’ triggers. It’s an upward spiral to long-term happiness, building fun, excitement, and security, and self-esteem for both of you. |
As simple as that sounds, that’s really all there is to it, but there are quite a few toe-stumpers, pitfalls, and outright traps along the way. I’ve investigated them, and with the help of a significant and still-growing support staff of women who are in or have been in mature relationships, have prepared a sizable report on how to make this all work in your life. This support staff reviews all advice and examples to make sure that everything is as accurate as possible with regard to how women react to various thoughts, actions, and conversational elements by gauging their own responses to the recommendations (and you can bet their husbands and boyfriends are loving life now!), so what’s included isn’t just an opinion of what works for one guy with one gal, it’s what works, period! You’re getting information on what makes women tick that every woman wishes you knew but few if any women would have ever told you in a way you could understand if you had just asked.
The first part of the report (it was a separate “free report” just for buying the product, but I’d rather keep it simple so you can make a single download!) will lead you through a fair and thorough assessment of yourself, your partner, and your relationship. It will help you to ask and answer the difficult questions that must be resolved before you can expect success going forward or find happiness if this partner isn’t “the one.”
To speed you on your way to a more intimate (and more fun!) relationship, in the second part of this report, which was another huge “free report” but is also integrated for a more effective product and your convenience, I’ve provided not only a few technical details, but also great examples of conversations you’ve probably had, mistakes you probably made in those conversations, and ways in which you can come out better when you have them again in the future.
Finally, we dig deep into what attraction really is, how it works, and how to make it happen! Pay attention here, because attraction, more than anything else, is what women want, whether they realize it or not, and you've got to create it for them or someone else will!
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Why should you bother to read this report? Well for starters, it works! Just the awareness gained by the support staff in focusing on the material and pulling it all together revived and improved their relationships to honeymoon status. If that's not a good enough reason, let’s talk money for a minute...
How many hundreds or thousands of dollars do you think you might spend on marriage counselors and/or lawyers trying to fix your current problems (especially if you get caught in an affair)?
Are there kids involved? Do you want to risk only seeing them every other weekend?
The reasons are plentiful and should be pretty obvious!
Here’s what people just like you have said after reading and improving their relationships with “THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage":
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"Our marriage became the best" Thank you for saving my marriage! My husband and I have been together for 10 years now and our marriage had become more of a chore than a loving relationship. We've always loved each other, but the excitement of being together was long gone. We've tried many times to rekindle that excitement, but it just didn’t happen. After my husband began reading your book, I started to notice a big difference. He shared your book with me, and I have to admit I was somewhat skeptical in the beginning, but as we began to understand attraction and each other more and more our marriage became the best it has ever been. We’ve gone from sex every couple of months to hot sex every night or two (and sometimes during the day too)! We stopped fighting and started communicating, and now every day is like a special gift that we share. I never thought that we would stay together, but thanks to you and your book, I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. Thank you so much for helping us to bring the excitement back into our marriage (and the sex back into our bedroom!). --Elaine L., formerly bored and frustrated wife of 11 years, mother of three, attorney "I have never been more attracted to a man" I have been in a relationship with the same man now for five years. After two of those years I began to have affairs with other men searching for that feeling that first made me love my boyfriend and the erotic sex that we once shared. After confessing to my boyfriend about the affairs, we both decided we loved each other too much to give up, so we started searching for something that could help us get back on track. We found your book, and are now two months away from getting married and we communicate better them most couples that have been together a long time. To this day I have never been more attracted to a man than I am this one and the sex is “anyplace at anytime” (how many couples can still say that after five years???). Thank you so much for helping us not to lose each other over something we had the control to take care of all the time. --Daphne P., corporate sales, now married with new child "Like a honeymoon again" Your book is just what it took to make my marriage like a honeymoon again. I never realized how much I didn’t know about women, or how little it would take to turn things around. It’s like we just got married, and it’s all thanks to you. -Perry L., Ob/Gyn, formerly frustrated husband of 8 years, father of two "She's fun to live with again" This stuff is incredible! I never knew there was so much to understand about women, or that it would be so easy to see when somebody pointed it out. My wife's noticed the difference in me, and it's certainly caused a difference in her -- she's fun to live with again, and she says it's because I'm fun to live with again. Thanks! --Gil P., Electrician, formerly bewildered and frustrated husband of seven years, two children "The woman of my dreams" Wow! I can’t believe what your book has done for my relationship. Finally I am not the “old friend” anymore -- I am the “boyfriend,” and if we go on like this much longer, I’m going to be “the husband.” Since I learned what women want, I am spending my nights (and soon my life!) with the woman of my dreams. Thanks! --Dale L., computer support consultant, now married to "the woman of his dreams" "It's like he's reading my mind." What did you do to my husband?! He’s acting like more of a guy than he’s ever been, but sometimes it’s like he’s reading my mind. He finally let me read your book and it all seemed simple enough, but it’s sure made a difference in him. Thanks so much for finally explaining to men what women have been trying to tell them for years. --Carrie W., formerly bored and frustrated homemaker, wife of executive, three children "Thanks for helping us" Dude! Where were you four years ago when I married this woman? You could have stopped me from wasting a big chunk of my life. I was bored, she was bored and needy, and when we started talking about it, she admitted that she also wished we’d never married because she was on the rebound and has felt bad about it from the beginning. We’re both moving on, peacefully, starting with a no-fault divorce handled by one attorney. Thanks for helping us see we had made a mistake, and for moving me in the right direction. Those dating gurus you recommended are first-rate. I’m reading some of their stuff now and getting back into dating prepared for action is going to be fun! --Brian W., Civil Engineer, now married to a physician's assistant |
You'll get all this in an immediately downloadable e-book (Adobe PDF format -- free Adobe Reader available at http://www.adobe.com) for only $39.97, which is a very small fraction of what a single hour in the office of a competent marriage counselor or attorney in most parts of the country. It's also less than the cost of a good meal for two in about any good restaurant. A meal lasts an hour; the benefits of this knowledge will last you a lifetime!
Complete With Bonus Reports You Can Use Right Now
"In case of Emergency!" - "Break-Up Busting 101" - a ten-part series of articles spanning 45 single-spaced pages (larger than a lot of other authors' primary e-book products!) on how to understand what brought (or can bring) your relationship to crisis. It will show you how to quickly bring her willingly back to the table so you can get your problems resolved as fast and peacefully as possible.
Plus it will get you both back to living a happy, exciting life again. From the feedback I've gotten, from my support staff and loyal readers, it will be a lot more fun and exciting than you've ever had together!
"Forbidden Knowledge!" - "What Women Want" - an eleven-part series of articles spanning single-spaced pages (again, a lot larger than a lot of other authors' primary e-book products!) on what women say they want, and even more important, what they respond to positively that they don't realize they want, helping you avoid those "be careful what you wish for because you might just get it" situations. You certainly don't need to be making any more of those "nice, sensitive guy who cries with her at chick flicks" mistakes, right?
You also get a free subscription to my daily newsletter.
You'll get additional tips and advice every single day and get your questions answered (and see others' questions and answers!) for as long as you subscribe. These daily gems give you additional insights and how-to information on every facet of relationships, marriage, attraction, naughty boy behavior, etc., you won't find anywhere else.
Now you'll have your own daily refresher delivered to you that will strengthen and enlighten you with a unique take on everyday problems and issues and how you can solve them. You are not alone, I'll be here every day to make sure you get it done and have the most fun you've had in years while you're doing it!
Your Risk Free, 100% Money Back, 365 Day Guarantee
To top it all off, your satisfaction is guaranteed for a full year from the date of purchase. That’s 365 days that you get to study the material and make changes in your life. If you can’t make the success that everyone else is making with this material, you’ll be promptly refunded simply by asking.
Friends won’t talk about successes nearly as often or nearly as long as they’ll talk about something that ticks them off. Your success is most important of all, and you're getting a full year to make it happen, but if it just can't happen, at least you'll be satisfied that we both gave it an honest effort and you were treated as promised. The bottom line is that improving your situation really is up to you, and it's time to choose to succeed.
No matter what your situation right now, you’ve got three choices:
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Bring back that honeymoon magic!
Download this inexpensive and incredibly informative e-book now!
Wishing you health, wealth, and happiness in all that you do,
Recent Articles from the
MakingHerHappy.com
Newsletter and Blog:
| Why Women Have Affairs, and How to Prevent Them and Get Past Them In Relationships and Marriage (See Original) |
Why do women have affairs? For the same reason most men do: because there’s nothing exciting them at home. What excites them may be quite different from what excites us, but boredom is even harder for them to handle than for us, so don’t expect them to handle it – do something about it before it happens! I had a wonderful phone call from an old friend (I’ll call her Dina), and I do mean OLD – we went to grade school together and have kept in touch ever since. We had a mutual “crush” in the third grade, became good friends, and eventually got to be so much like brother and sister that “hooking up” was never a thought, let alone an option, for either of us. She got married in the middle of college, had three kids, and the kids are grown now and she and her husband, Danny, also a long-time friend, are left with a great big empty nest and each other. They’d had a major problem develop a few months prior, and she called to give me the details of how things were back on track and better than they had ever been. Like so many other couples, they had been so involved in their kids that they had grown apart and while they still love and respect each other, their life together was much more like that of casual roommates than a married couple. They didn’t have much to talk about, didn’t sleep together often – I’m really talking about sleeping here; he fell asleep on the couch most nights watching TV, and had “intimate relations” a couple times a year. OUCH! That’s a whole bunch of problems for two people to deal with, especially when you bring the causes into the mix. Their intimacy was severely hampered by occasional prostate problems he suffered, lack of personal interaction, different interests and schedules, “empty nest” syndrome – the couple had defined a huge portion of who they were as “parents” so when the kids were gone they had overwhelming feelings of lack of purpose and loneliness from the hole that was left in their lives -- and it finally caught up with them. Dina had been particularly taken with a new employee in her office, a manager, her new boss (yes, that’s about as cliché as it gets, but remember that things become cliché because they are so common), and was working late both for the extra money and something to do. She enjoyed working for him, because he was a strong leader, good motivator, was genuinely interested in his employees’ welfare, and had a great sense of humor. He was also married and quite bored, being in a similar situation to Dina. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see what came next, does it? Look at the boss. Strong leader, an alpha male characteristic. Good motivator and great sense of humor, both traits indicative of above average communications skills and very ANTI-BORING. Leadership and motivational skills coupled with his position as her boss put him in a position of defining authority for her frequently. Genuine interest in employees’ welfare coupled with good communications skills is intimacy waiting to happen. He tripped her attraction triggers nine ways from Sunday, and in her mid forties, she’s still quite physically attractive, intelligent, a good conversationalist, and has always been playful and a little flirtatious, so she tripped his, too. They finally succumbed to the temptation and immediately knew they had done something that they shouldn’t have done and couldn’t undo. Dina called a few months ago to tell me about all of this, and I went to visit them. She disclosed all of this, and we went through all that had happened over the years (the same process described in “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage” for determining if you are with someone who is a good match for you, a critical step in fixing any major problems in mature relationships – if they’re bad for you, why fight to keep things together???) and she knew beyond any doubt that he was the man for her and that they had slowly and surely grown apart as they focused too much on their kids and careers and not enough on each other. She knew she had to tell Danny what had happened, for a number of reasons, and asked me for advice. I gave her a copy of “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage,” and told her to go through it with him, to help him prepare for the news he was about to get and be better able to understand what had happened. She was scared, but he was and is pretty level-headed, so she agreed. When he got home, she showed him the book and told him I had written it and wanted their evaluation of it, which was true (I’m always interested in reader feedback on any of my books), and over the days that followed I got letters and phone calls from him about various things, and when it was obvious that he had a good grasp of what attraction is, and how powerful a force it is in a woman, especially when she is bored and vulnerable, I told Dina it was time to find an opportunity to confess, which she did within a couple of evenings as they were discussing part of the book. He had read a passage in the book talking about how women get bored and can literally lose their ability to reason and control of their actions when somebody restores that feeling and he said, “Man, that sounds like a recipe for disaster. If you were to get caught up in something like this, I wouldn’t like it, but I don’t think I could blame you, at least not any more than I would have to blame myself.” Being a bit more direct than most women, and a lot more direct than I was accustomed to her being, she looked him dead in the eye and said, “Danny, it has happened, just once, and I knew the minute it was over that it shouldn’t have. I love you, and I’m taking responsibility for this. I didn’t choose to let you grow away from me, but I didn’t choose to prevent it either. I didn’t know what was happening, and thought it was something that just happened to everyone when they’d been together as long as we have, and didn’t think it would be a problem. I want you, and nobody else. I want to grow very, very old with you. I can’t promise you that I can live long enough to do that, but I can certainly promise you that we can keep this from happening again for as long as we are alive, and you know we can, too. I’m not going to ask for your answer now, because I can see you’re in shock and need time to think things through. You tell me when you’re ready to talk about this.” He said to her, “I’m ready now. I’m no fool. I know why you did it. We’ve been sitting here talking about it for weeks. I’ll share the responsibility with you, because I’m just as guilty of ignoring both of us as you are. I knew things weren’t right, but didn’t know what to do about it. I love you, we’ve raised three kids and paid off two mortgages together, and frankly, I’m sick to death of the way things have been going. We’re in a rut, and we’ve got a tow-truck here in this book. It may be awhile before I can be with you without thinking of another man being with you, but as long as I know that we’re working on this together, I’ll get over it. I’m going to Randy’s [his brother] for the weekend to do some fishing and get my mind right, and when I get back, we’re going to take back our marriage.” Dina was weirded completely out. Danny got up, threw some stuff in a bag, kissed her on the cheek as he went out the door, sent her a couple of text messages while he was gone that just said, “Thinking of you…” and came home Sunday night and went to bed. Come Monday morning, he woke her up with a kiss and a smile, and said, “This is it, Kiddo. Time to get back to being us. I’m going to go cook us some breakfast while you shower.” Danny’s always been pretty much a “take-charge” kind of guy, and he did. He took what was in this book, added it to what he already knew of Dina, and had her swept completely off her feet in about three days. They still have occasional problems; Dina transferred to another department for obvious reasons, and didn’t enjoy the job as much as she did because she was working for her old boss, who was a bit weak and disinterested, and Danny occasionally has a nightmare about her affair, but they’re on track, regularly intimate, and haven’t had any discussions of the affair in several months now. Dina’s now found another job, not to leave the company where the affair happened, but to find something to do she can enjoy. Things are looking up all around. There was a lot that went into saving their relationship. It took knowing that they were right for each other – highly compatible -- and that their 22 years together was a good investment that they needed to keep. It took knowing exactly what happened and why, so that there were no grudges, feelings of guilt or betrayal, or especially unworthiness. It took knowing how to fix the problem. These things came from my book, some personal coaching to help them get through the emotional upheaval at times, and their knowledge of each other. The biggest thing that it took was the commitment to do what was necessary to fix the problem, which was much easier to make when they had read "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," and therefore knew that it could be done, what would be required, and that it was worth it. Affairs can be avoided if you’re proactive, and they can be overcome if you’re not, as long as you know what to do and just do it, instead of wasting time waiting for everything to fix itself while someone else is creating the attraction your wife desperately needs to feel. I can give you all you need to know in “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage,” but learning it and doing it is up to you. I strongly recommend the proactive approach, because the obvious emotional upheaval of an affair can be devastating, and it’s a risk of sustaining permanent damage that you don’t have to take at all. Sometimes, the easy way out is the best possible way, and you should always take advantage of such an opportunity, because it doesn’t come around that often. Your easiest way out of this situation is waiting for you at http://www.makingherhappy.com, so go get it and get started, because life’s too short to do things the long and hard way (unless of course you’re talking about sex!) In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day! David Cunningham |
| Time Is On YOUR Side When Saving a Relationship or Marriage (See Original) |
The rules for creating and maintaining attraction can be slightly to radically different when moving from the “first encounter” scenario (like bumping into a stranger or trying to pick up a stranger in a bar) to a committed relationship. One such rule is the one governing your “window of opportunity,” which is as short as a few seconds when meeting someone new but can be months long when trying to rekindle the fire in a mature but stale or damaged relationship, because the woman would rather have her partner being a “naughty hottie” than being bored or having an affair; she has a vested interest in giving him a chance to enliven the relationship. I received an interesting letter over the weekend from an achiever who has not yet bought “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage,” but has subscribed to this newsletter, has bought materials from some of the dating gurus like John Alanis and David DeAngelo, and subscribes to their newsletters, and has noticed a discrepancy between my material and theirs: Hi David, I bought books and CD’s from John Alanis, David DeAngelo, and others, and subscribe to everybody’s newsletters trying to find a way to get things back into gear here at home. After 6 years of marriage, things have been in a downhill slide for awhile, and it’s obvious that there is an attraction problem, and they’re all saying that once attraction has died it’s nearly impossible, if not entirely impossible, to rekindle, yet you guarantee I can do it. What am I missing?” Buddy G. Well, Buddy, it’s pretty simple. They’re absolutely right, and so is what I’m telling you. The difference is in the context, particularly the timeframe. Remember, they are talking about creating attraction and keeping it going in order to ESTABLISH a relationship. In the dating world, there’s no commitment yet formed and nothing invested; you’re on strict probation before you ever approach her and introduce yourself, and at your first slip-up she’s gone because there are hundreds of other men in her world still left to inspect. She has no motivation to wait around for somebody exhibiting the same nice-guy, loser behavior that every other nice loser exhibits when she could be hooking up with a guy who “gets it” and trips her attraction triggers, giving her that feeling women will kill for. HOWEVER! As you’ll find in “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage,” the rules of attraction in committed relationships are often quite different from those of attracting someone new. In your case, and the case of anyone in a committed relationship that has survived long enough to get a little stale and boring or damaged, you’ve already made the grade and fallen from grace. In the meantime, ties have been built, maybe kids, mortgage, and other commitments and/or motivations for further commitment have come into the picture, and it’s to your mutual advantage to put things back together. Nobody likes break-ups or divorces, even when they come out ahead, because they almost always entail fighting, complications, and extreme changes in the way you live. I don’t know about you, but I hate it when that happens. ;-) Look closely at the two situations, the requirements of the participants, and think with me for a minute. The “chick in the bar” would have no reason to give you a second look or thought if you said the wrong thing because there will be at least a hundred other opportunities for her that same evening, but the woman with whom you’ve been partnered, in whatever capacity, for months or years has a vested interest in the relationship! She wants you to straighten up because having you “back in true form” (read “that attractive stud muffin you used to be, and even more so if you can do it”) is much more enjoyable and far less scary than dropping back into the dating world and having to go back to defending herself from perverts, stalkers, geeks, losers, liars, philanderers, and others who would either use, hurt, or bore her. (And if there are kids involved, her drive to protect her children from a destabilized environment will make her want you to work with her to work things out ten times more than if there were no kids!) Think about that! If you screwed up with the chick in the bar and she would say, “What for?” when you asked if you could try another date and attempt to make up for your transgression, the woman who has been in your life and enjoyed it would usually try to help you get it done! (To wit, the last several times I have checked, one third of my book sales have been to women!) She wants that feeling back, and would do about anything to have it back, and her choices are to: a) leave you and find somebody else who gives it to her, or b) don’t leave you, just find a “toy boy” and cheat c) wait for you to get it done d) help you get it done so she can have it back faster! Now, which one do you think she’s most likely to choose if she has a choice of the four options above? Where most men screw up is only offering her “a” and “b,” and a few more will offer her “c”. You have before you the option of a book that, according to a great many people, will give you the knowledge you need to get the job done if you’ll just do it, and if your wife knows you’re genuinely trying she’ll help! Seriously, if you were trying to date this woman, your chances of success would be pretty slim at best, but you’re married to her, and she doesn’t want to have a boring marriage any more than you do, nor does she want her whole world turned upside-down by a divorce unless that’s her only option. Go to http://www.makingherhappy.com and get your copy of “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage.” Read it. Study it. Learn from it. Have a laugh or two along the way, too. And do it NOW, because attraction is a double-edged sword; the only thing that can keep her from responding to you when you straighten up and act like a man is if ANOTHER MAN creates intense attraction for her before you do, in which case attraction still wins, as always, but it wins the fight for the other guy, not you. But you can be certain that where women are concerned, attraction will be the deciding factor the vast majority of the time, no matter who wields it, so proceed in earnest. If you get through the evaluation section and you know that you’re with the right woman, get her to read it with you. That way she’ll know that you’re trying to make things better for both of you and that the positive changes that she’s about to see in your behavior are because you’re committed to making things better with her, not because you have a new girlfriend making you feel sexy again. (Yes, they really do that!) Get it done, and get on with your new, sexy, exciting life with your wife. Why? Because it’s a whole lot easier and better than being bored or risking getting caught in an affair. You love her, so treat her like you love her! ‘Nuff said… In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day! David Cunningham |
| Knowing When NOT to Apoligize in Your Relationship or Marriage (See Original) |
Have you ever wondered why you can say something that to you seems entirely benign or even complimentary and a woman blows up in your face? Have you ever wished you could see it coming and head off the fight that you know is going to follow? Here are the answers you seek… Women are going to take things you say the wrong way from time to time; it’s a foregone conclusion. They’re also going to verbally test you to see if you’ll buckle under pressure by spitting a little venom to see if you’ll get emotional (and wuss out or start a fight) or whether you’ll keep your head and act like a man. In any case, it doesn’t have to become a fight if you know what to do, and apologizing isn’t it… It usually starts with something benign, or even complimentary. Most of us have had the following conversation: Him: “Gee honey, that diet you’re on is really working! You look great!” Her: “Oh! So I was a fat, disgusting cow before? Thanks, you asshole!” Then the fight starts… Him (somewhat apologetically): “Wait, no, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant. I was complimenting you because I know that dieting takes a lot of will power and it’s hard, and I’m proud of you for going through all that.” Her: “Oh, so I’m a fat, disgusting cow because I have no willpower now, huh? I make a little effort to try to look better for you, and you have to put me down! You’re an insensitive creep! I don’t know why I even try to put up with you!” …And it pretty much goes to Hell in a hand basket from there, right? So what happened, anyway? And what can you do to fix it? Or more importantly, PREVENT it? Women are generally insecure about a lot of things. They’ve been hammered for so long to be insecure about their youth and appearance that most today probably don’t even remember why it’s an issue, and most men never knew... It goes back to the days when women weren’t accepted in the work place and generally only ended up owning businesses if they inherited them, couldn’t get a decent job, and hence, marrying well was their only real means of survival. They had to compete with each other not just for a man, but for a livelihood, and were kept on the defensive. And that’s not been that long ago. As women began to be more liberated and make their own way in the world, the fashion and beauty industries continued to keep the pressure on them, inundating them with advertising to foster insecurity and feed their competitiveness to the point that even the most successful and fiercely independent women still have attacks of challenged self-esteem far more frequently that what you would expect or they want to tolerate. This constant pressure keeps many women, as tough as they are, teetering on the brink of feeling really crappy about themselves, and from time to time, when fatigue, illness, stress, etc., build up and weaken them enough, they fall into a mode where no matter what you say, they are going to take it in the worst way possible. This is another one of those things you’re just going to have to understand and accept about women if you are going to live with one. It doesn’t make them stupid, or inferior, or weak-willed, or anything like that. We as men go through the same thing, except for most of us, it’s less frequent because we normally don’t live in an environment of people trying to make us feel insecure about ourselves. I say most of the time because sometimes parents, partners, children, or acquaintances can become depressed and try to make themselves feel better by putting us down, and we have a few advertisements for things like E-D drugs and hair restoration digging at our self-esteem, but for the most part, we usually don’t get in this state until we have a string of catastrophes get to us, like losing a loved one, a job, and a home all in a very short period of time. Believe it or not, it takes that kind of pressure to make the average woman do this, it’s just that she’s awash all day ever day in things trying to bring her down so the events that end up being the proverbial “last straw” don’t have to be as traumatic for them as what they end up having to be for us. And as you’ve noticed in some of my other newsletters, this can also be brought on by a need for drama to vent pent-up emotional energy, as well as just be a test to see if you will wuss out and play into the drama or stand up like a man and reel her in. (Multiple causes, same predicament, and luckily for you, the same response is required to get through the predicament in good standing, so pay attention!) Now that this is hopefully in perspective, how do you handle it? First, early detection is a must. You may have noticed right before one of these explosions that she suddenly becomes quiet or gets a puzzled or stressed look on her face that turns into pain and anger. It may only take seconds for her to explode, or she may put it off for as long as a couple of days before it finally gets the best of her. You cannot wait for the explosion to fix this. Nor can you invite her to explode in your face with a question like, “What’s wrong?” When she’s in this state, “What’s wrong?” comes across as “What’s wrong with you?” and that’s not a question you want an insecure person responding to, because whoever you are, everything will suddenly become your fault because you have just volunteered to be the outlet for her overload. So what DO you do? What is the “magic move” that calms the storm before it breaks over your head? When you see a seemingly inexplicable change for the worse in expression, tone, or demeanor, don’t wait for her say anything about it. Take the initiative – leadership is attractive, remember? – and say something about it right then and there. What do you say? No, you don’t apologize. Nor do you start a fight to try to back her down because she most likely won’t. Besides, leaders don’t fight. They lead. Take the lead: “Okay, I see from your [expression/voice/demeanor] that you didn’t take something the way I was intending for you to take it. I was [trying to pay you a compliment/simply making a joke/simply making an observation] that was in no way intended to be disrespectful or hurtful to you. If you have taken what I said to mean anything but that, then you need to back up and ask whatever questions I can answer to clarify it for both of us instead of remaining upset and then getting angry and we end up fighting.” If you can spot the sign that something came across the wrong way quickly enough and say this with the confidence of a man insisting on being understood instead of fighting or sounding like a wuss trying backtrack and wiggle his way out of a confrontation, she will gladly comply and get things straightened out. Women like to see a man take the lead in a touchy situation like that and work it out for the best. What they don’t like are men who wuss out and start apologizing without knowing what they are apologizing for or that get really weasely and look apologetic while trying to convince them that they were “just kidding.” They also don’t like men who see things starting to go the wrong way and instead of trying to fix the problem, bristle and growl and try to bully the problem away, using control instead of leadership to get them out of the situation instead of fixing the situation. All you have to do is speak as if you expect to be heard and understood and you will interrupt the chemical rush that would normally move things in the direction of a fight, and probably help her to feel better about herself as well, because you were indeed sensitive enough to see that she had taken something the wrong way and strong enough to lead her away from an embarrassing and destructive blow-up over something that didn’t happen. The one thing that will help you the most to pull this off is to be truly attentive when speaking with your partner. Most women don’t multitask the way we do, and they really resent it when we don’t maintain constant (or at least near-constant) eye contact with them when we’re speaking with or listening to them. (Women multitask, but they suspend multitasking when it conflicts with anything that is a social exchange of any kind, prioritizing eye contact and being polite above getting something accomplished, where we will speak to someone while holding our focus on our work or something else we’re doing and think nothing of it.) The simple act of giving her your undivided attention as you converse will go a long way toward boosting her self-esteem, and will help elevate her mood a bit and keep her from being so quick to think that you are being insensitive, but it also has the added advantage of making sure that you notice as quickly as possible any change in her demeanor, expression, tone, body language, or anything else that can be a clue that she’s having a problem with what she heard. Not only will she notice and appreciate it when you give her your undivided attention and make the extra effort to maintain eye contact, she’ll also notice that you don’t usually do this with others, and it will make her feel that much more special. Incidentally, the same thing goes for daughters – they’re women in training, right? Men who truly know how to effectively communicate with their partner can literally go decades without a fight. One couple in our test group has been married since 1944 and claim to have not had a fight since their 20th anniversary in 1964, an argument that came up at their anniversary party over the appearance of an uninvited (and unwanted) guest that got out of hand. That’s 63 years of marriage and 43 years since their last fight. How did they do it? And how do they keep doing it? They were well-matched and share very similar values (as well as valuing each other more highly than anyone else in their life, including their children) and compatible tastes. They learned over the course of many years how to communicate with each other so they could work things out instead of fighting about them. And Mason, the husband, is a master at creating attraction for his wife, and at 85 years old (and her at 81) they are still having sex at least every other day. Wouldn’t you love to live a life like that with your wife? You can! Anybody can. Well, maybe not with YOUR wife, but with their own. ;-) Seriously, the secrets of their success and thousands of other couples, not to mention what women really want and what makes them tick, is all contained in "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage." You don’t have to spend twenty years figuring out whether you’re married to the right woman and learning how to communicate with her, nor a lifetime wondering how to flip her switches and turn her back into that wild woman she was before you married her. A few hours to read and understand this book and start practicing what it teaches you are all it takes, and no, it’s not a lot of work. It’s a lot of FUN! Got a few hours to spend making the rest of your life a honeymoon? Sure you do! So jump over to http://www.makingherhappy.com and download your copy of "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" now, and get started. Or would you rather keep fighting for no apparent reason? Nah, life’s too short for that, right? In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day! David Cunningham |
| When She Gains a Few Pounds: Walking Through a Minefield in Relationships and Marriage (See Original) |
The holidays are here, and we all tend to over-do the feasting a bit. What do you do when she gains a few pounds? Inquiring minds want to know, at least if they ever hope enjoy being married again… The holidays are here, and that means good food and parties. It also means a lot of scrambling around trying to do holiday shopping and eating out for lack of time, not to mention family gatherings, etc. That means that unless your wife is extremely disciplined or has an extremely high metabolism, she’s going to pick up a few pounds, and like it or not, you’re going to have to deal with it. Sounds like a no-win situation, huh? It’s tricky for sure, but not impossible. Here’s a typical letter about this most common problem, and a very sticky one to say the least. Meet Tia: Dear David, I need your help. The past few months I have put on a few extra pounds due to a medication that I have to take for my asthma. Everybody tells me that they don’t notice it and I look good, but to me I feel like the Goodyear blimp and have no desire to be intimate with my husband at all because I’m embarrassed over having curves in places that were flat. The more he tries to tell me I look sexy the more his advances just make me feel pressured, and I hate feeling under pressure this way. It has nothing to do with not loving him or not wanting to enjoy each other the way we always have. We have always been very in touch with each other and being together in the bed was always one of the best parts. I was hoping you could give me some advice as to how I could bring this up with him. I want him to understand just how awful I feel I look and how it has nothing to do with him at this point. Thank you, Tia Tia, I’m going to make this really easy for you, because it’s such a great question. Just print this post and let him read it, because I’m going to tell him and all the other men about this. He won’t know it’s you unless you tell him because I’ve changed the name to protect your privacy. Get ready guys! Pay close attention, take notes, and make sure you fully understand what you’re about to read. This is some of the most critical information to ever appear in this newsletter and you need to get this down pat and cold, right now, because sooner or later, virtually EVERY woman will experience a bit of weight gain that makes her uncomfortable with her appearance, and consequently, with YOU. If you’ve read "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," you know about the difference in the male and female brain structure. Aside from making our communications styles and methods grossly different, it also makes women visualize, emotionalize and even dramatize to the extreme compared to males. You also must remember that nearly all of the advertising in the fashion and beauty industries is designed to prey upon a woman’s sense of competitiveness to make her feel insecure about her appearance. Women are literally bombarded with this crap everywhere they look, and while you or I probably wouldn’t even notice a little weight gain until we had to loosen our belt a notch or sew a button back on our trousers that had popped off, to them a pound or two can be nearly or wholly traumatic, especially if they’ve taken pride in a flat stomach for a long time. We often respond to this by telling them that they look “fine,” “sexy,” “hot,” etc., and that is precisely the wrong thing to do. Why? She knows what she sees in the mirror, and thinks that you see what she sees in the mirror. If she thinks she looks fat and you say she looks sexy, all that says to her is that either you’re lying or your standards are really, really low. Don’t go there, even if you really think she looks better with a couple of extra pounds because you like the curves, and whatever you do, DON’T tell her you like the new curves! That can get you killed, because in her ears, that’s, “But honey, I like you better when you’re fat like this.” (Ladies, you are cordially invited to write in and tell the men just that – I’ll reprint your letters so the men will know just how serious an issue this is.) So what are you supposed to do? You’d already know this, too, if you had read “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage,” because you wouldn’t be making those kinds of advances and doing really stupid things like asking her to have sex with you. You’d be tripping her attraction triggers with alpha male behavior, naughty talk and gestures, and making her have fun and get so hot that she doesn’t concern herself with her additional weight because she’d still feel sexy and desirable, and she’d be coming after YOU! (See Jay’s letter in the archive for an example, because he’s got it down cold.) When you know what a woman wants, what makes her tick, how to both listen and talk to her, and how to have fun with her, she doesn’t feel like a middle-aged housewife that can’t compete with the 20-somethings anymore. She feels like a real queen who rules the world at your side by day and a red hot vixen by night, keeping that naughty little secret for you and you alone because you create it for her. There's a time and place, not to mention a right way and a wrong way, for everything, and that includes delivering genuine, honest compliments. That, Gentlemen, is how a real man makes a real woman feel, and that is what you learn when you read “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage.” So how many more times are you going to have to stick your foot in your mouth and spend the night in the doghouse before you go to http://www.makingherhappy.com and download your copy? Go now, and get it done, because there are far better things to do with your feet (and your mouth!). In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day! David Cunningham |
| Is She Faking Orgasms? "Performance Monitoring" in Relationships and Marriage (See Original) |
How can you tell if she’s faking “the big O”? Does it matter? The truth may indeed surprise you! Good grief. I’ve been going over this issue in my head on and off all day, and still can’t believe I’m writing it, but I keep getting hammered with the question, so I’m going to answer, and then I’m going to tell you something a lot more important… The question is simple. Meet Todd, one of the many people who asked the question, and who did so in the fewest words while sounding intelligent: Hi David, How do I tell if and when my partner is faking her climax? Thanks, Todd Todd’s a man of few but well-chosen words, isn’t he? To answer, there is no way to always tell with 100% certainty, at least not without medical monitoring equipment, but here are a couple pretty dependable bits that can help you figure it out. First, if she appears to be screaming during the contractions, she’s either faking or grossly exaggerating. Physiologically, that’s as near an impossibility as being able to hold your eyes open when you sneeze, and for the same reason. It’s in the “wiring” of her nervous system. The problem is that trying to exhale to scream during the contractions doesn’t work, so any noises of pleasure should be broken up by the contractions. There are rare – and I do mean RARE – exceptions to this, according to what I have read in medically- and therapeutically-oriented books on the subject, but the exceptions are mentioned in the context of nerve damage, birth defects, and anomalies like having all your internal organs on the wrong side of your body. Like I said, RARE. Along the same lines is another very telling sign, but in the opposite way. It is reported by medical authorities on the subject to be near-impossible for a woman to experience any significant level of climax without her toes curling. No kidding. Note that if she knows about this, she can fake curling her toes, but if she’s bucking and thrusting and making all kinds of steamy animal noises and her toes aren’t curling, either she’s faking or she’s one of those RARE cases mentioned earlier. I’ll say only that I have never personally observed one of those RARE cases. Now, don’t even think about asking me how you’re supposed to keep an eye on her toes while in the act. If I even try to answer that question the spam filters (annoying pieces of crap!) will be trapping 99% of this edition and few will ever see it. (Don’t get me going about spam filters. I finally found spam protection that works better than anything that uses content filters – see http://www.mailvice.com if you have your own domain name and you’re interested.) Just use your imagination, get into a position, like “canine”-style or “rodeo” style that lets you see her feet without being obvious, and don’t obsess over it. If she’s hot enough to have you in such a predicament, she surely has assets that are much more interesting than her feet. You shouldn’t be worried about it anyway. Why? Because you ought to be doing it right and know it by the fact that your partner is acting like you are the “King Daddy Pleasure God” by giving you sexy looks, being playful with you, inviting YOU to the bedroom, etc. If you’re being the alpha male (not alpha dog! – see my free “Break-Up Busting 101” report for the distinction! A download link is at the bottom of this newsletter) and engaging in naughty play as you should be, especially in the way of slowly ramping up the action through the day as described in “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage,” using her anticipation for maximum impact, you’re going to know, in no uncertain terms. A woman who’s happy in her bedroom makes it so wonderfully obvious by showing you that she wants to be there, and often! If you’re having to worry about whether she’s faking, you have bigger problems than your sex life, and you’d better be getting your butt over to http://www.makingherhappy.com and downloading your copy of “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage” before she gets bored and you end up either celibate or cuckold (that’s what us old farts were taught to call it when your wife sleeps with another man). You know as well as I do that if Mama’s not happy, nobody’s happy, and if Mama IS happy, EVERYBODY’S HAPPY, and this is proven daily to be your best shot at making that happen, so get busy! In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day! David Cunningham |
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